Joy develops out of the soul as soon as we are in tune with the movements of the soul; in whatever direction they take us.
Sometimes the path may be an illness, a challenging task, or perhaps an unavoidable adventure.
If we are in tune with the movements of the soul then we feel connected to something great. And this is full of joy.
Joy has a quality of completeness, of fullness, that comes from this connection.
This joy is quiet, it rests; it has weight and it shines.
So if we are in the presence of people who experience this joy, we ourselves become quiet, collected, and centred.
And this joy has no purpose, no wishes, and no regrets.
It is in tune, even with the guilt and the consequences of guilt.
Strange as it may seem, guilt has a divine quality.
If we are in tune with guilt, it connects us to something very deep and very strong.
When we are faced with difficult situations, which demand much of those involved, then we too must not feel any regret or desire to change the situation.
There is very often greatness in those involved, no matter how terrible their circumstances may appear to us.
Once we agree to our own destinies, fates and entanglements, and also to the entanglements and difficulties, the guilt and the suffering of those whom we love, then we experience joy.
It’s very strange. It’s a very deep contentment. In this way today, I wish you all this deep inner joy.
Founder of Constellation Work, Bert Hellinger offered us this poem at his workshop in London in April 2000.
At the time, I was deeply touched by these words, so much so that they appear in my first book. Until I met Bert, I didn’t really know in my heart what this kind of joy felt like. Maybe I’d had a snapshot at times when lying in a meadow on a warm, sunny day or walking on a warm, sunny beach. However, deep enduring joy had thus far escaped me.
After I’d come across constellation work for the first time when Bert visited in 1996 I was completely gripped by the power of it and wrote and asked him what I needed to do in order to be able to offer this work. (There were no trainings available at that time.) His reply was: “All you need is to be at peace with your parents.”
Such a simple, yet such a profound sentence.
My first piece of work in connection with constellations was in 1996 with Hunter Beaumont who had brought Bert to London a few months earlier. It was the completion of an interrupted reaching-out movement to my mother. I had always adored her, but had felt unable to stay close to her and would pull away at the last minute. In my work with Hunter, I stayed in her embrace and allowed myself to surrender to 47 years of held-in pain and longing.
After this, I had 18 months with my mother before she died which was blissful. I lay on her bed with my head on her shoulder. I wrote to her and thanked her for all she had done for me. I was at peace. This was a ‘coming home’ for me. For the first time in my life, I stopped searching. I no longer felt empty inside.
Some months later, I completed a similar movement towards my father.
Now my life is still full of problems and difficulties at times, but this inner feeling of deep joy and contentment comes when I get in touch once again with my two parents and allow myself to surrender to their embrace, accepting them fully, exactly as they are.
There is no greater joy for me than this.