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How to build self-esteem and feel confident

  • 07/05/2021
  • Self Esteem

National Teen Self Esteem Month May 1 – May 30

Words are powerful and the way we talk to ourselves, or our self, can be the difference between high and low self-esteem and confidence.

Words cast spells, that is why they are called spellings. The way you speak to yourself will affect how you feel and the way you are feeling will affect how you behave.  

It took me years to really be able to listen to that voice – the one that was being unkind to me. A voice that was a part of me. It would tell me that I was ugly, or useless or stupid and unworthy, but I wasn’t fully aware of it. 

What I would notice was the feeling. I would be going to a party or to school, college then on to a job interview or a presentation for work feeling low in confidence, and when I felt that way I would shrink away from other people's company and that interview or presentation would go horribly wrong.

One evening, on my way to present to a group, I was throwing on some makeup as I hurriedly prepared and that’s when I heard it. That voice, like a dirty parrot sitting on my shoulder that squawked into my ear “Wow, you are ugly!” 

In that moment though, I didn’t feel awful I felt elated. I woke up to that voice. I heard it AND I brushed that parrot right off my shoulder. It just wasn’t helpful and just wasn’t the kind of story (also referred to as a limiting belief) that I wanted to hear.  

So, how do we build self-esteem and confidence? We tell ourselves helpful and empowering stories. We set smart, ambitious objectives and steer our compass and take bold strides towards the direction of our dreams. 

Six useful steps

First – think about your values, what is important to you like creativity, integrity, honesty, trust, loyalty. List as many as you can and then cut your list down to your top 5.

Second – write down all the things that you love, like, and admire about yourself. Keep a piece of paper with you and keep adding to the list over a period of one week. 

Third – plan your 24/7 to include all those things in your life that are important to you, at the same time remember to maintain balance.

Fourth – write a mantra that really connects with what is important to you and your goals.

Fifth – repeat, repeat, repeat that mantra so you can embody those new stories.

Sixth – imagine and pretend seeing yourself being that person, morning, noon, and night.

Our mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. Therefore, by repeating the mantra that represents the new story of who you are and how you want to be in life, AND visualising yourself being that way, before you know it you are simply showing up as that person. 

Everyone will notice the difference in you. 

 

#nationalteenselfesteemmonth2021

 


Jessica Vassallo

Award-Winning Master NLP Practitioner and Hypnotherapist

Transform your Body and Your Mind using NLP and Hypnotherapy

www.jessicavassallo.com


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  • Jessica Vassallo
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Related Therapies

  • Hypnotherapy
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  • Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
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