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A poem about a bully's journey to change through therapy

  • 02/11/2021
  • Bullying

Bullying

When I first laid my eyes on you, I believed everything you taught me was true.

My brain was set and ready to go, with all of the knowledge that you could show.

I lived my life with anger inside. With hate and lies and I was full of pride.

I could not find a space to grow, my space was filled with what ‘you’ know.

I communicated with what you taught me, a fist a shout, with misery.

My interactions with others were key, to match the same way you had with me.

My skin was grey, my hands were sore, my body ached, I could punch no more.

People looked a me with fear in their eyes, I knew their smiles were a disguise.

I hated me and they did too. I guess in the same way that, I hated you.

I took pleasure in seeing the pain in others, then I could hide my pain under my covers

I could hear my voice, it sounded like you, when I ordered my victims what to do.

I remember when you did that to me, in my younger years of misery.

I found love sometimes though fleeting and passed, as my anger would come out from behind the mask. 

I just wanted love, but who would love me, it was something I could never see.

I thought the world was the problem, and that the world hated me, so I went to sort out the world by going to therapy.

Through therapy, I had begun to see.  I was using the gifts you had given me. 

I learnt those gifts were not all you, you had been given the same gifts too.

I have learnt not to do what you did to me. I learn to take responsibility.

What is inside of me is what I give out. I heard your insides, they would always shout.

This is not how I was meant to be. They were the unwanted gifts you gave to me.

I have emptied my insides of most of you, and I take accountability for what I do.  

I hold my hands up and set myself free. 

I will no longer be the bully, you taught me to be. 


Author

  • Isabell Thomas
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Related Centres

  • Leeds
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Related Therapies

  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
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  • Psychotherapy
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