When I first laid my eyes on you, I believed everything you taught me was true.
My brain was set and ready to go, with all of the knowledge that you could show.
I lived my life with anger inside. With hate and lies and I was full of pride.
I could not find a space to grow, my space was filled with what ‘you’ know.
I communicated with what you taught me, a fist a shout, with misery.
My interactions with others were key, to match the same way you had with me.
My skin was grey, my hands were sore, my body ached, I could punch no more.
People looked a me with fear in their eyes, I knew their smiles were a disguise.
I hated me and they did too. I guess in the same way that, I hated you.
I took pleasure in seeing the pain in others, then I could hide my pain under my covers
I could hear my voice, it sounded like you, when I ordered my victims what to do.
I remember when you did that to me, in my younger years of misery.
I found love sometimes though fleeting and passed, as my anger would come out from behind the mask.
I just wanted love, but who would love me, it was something I could never see.
I thought the world was the problem, and that the world hated me, so I went to sort out the world by going to therapy.
Through therapy, I had begun to see. I was using the gifts you had given me.
I learnt those gifts were not all you, you had been given the same gifts too.
I have learnt not to do what you did to me. I learn to take responsibility.
What is inside of me is what I give out. I heard your insides, they would always shout.
This is not how I was meant to be. They were the unwanted gifts you gave to me.
I have emptied my insides of most of you, and I take accountability for what I do.
I hold my hands up and set myself free.
I will no longer be the bully, you taught me to be.