How can therapy help guide us through the perimenopause journey?
Menopause often marks a time of change and transition. Whilst for some, this transition can happen relatively easily, other people find themselves experiencing debilitating anxiety and low mood for the first time in their life. Sudden anger can feel explosive and destructive.
It can lead to feeling like you don’t recognise yourself. This can be upsetting and confusing, not only for the person going through it, but for their family as well. ‘What’s happening to me?’ can be a thought that goes through the mind. There can be changes in appearance such as weight fluctuations and skin changes which in turn can trigger unwanted feelings about body image. Sometimes people can feel like a stranger in their own bodies.
The impact of these symptoms is not negligible - research indicates that over one million woman have left their jobs due to menopausal symptoms; and one in four women will find the impact debilitating.
This obviously has impacts on financial wellbeing at both individual and national scales. It also isn’t just something that happens later in life: did you know that with some health conditions such as endometriosis, treatment can lead persons into what is known as ‘chemical’ or ‘’surgical’ menopause? This is where the body is put into premature menopause by ovarian suppression/removal. This can leave young people dealing with the impacts of menopause at an age where it can feel even more isolating due to feeling different to peers. People are living through this at different points in their lives - it is important that we raise awareness to support people in the best way possible. The important thing to realise is you don’t need to go through this alone.
If you find yourself or a loved one going through this, you may wonder how can something like talking therapy help.
First things first: please start or keep a conversation going with a medical practitioner such as your GP or practice nurse. Research shows that almost half of people experiencing symptoms do not talk to their GP about them. The change in hormones can be a rollercoaster. Sometimes, with the fluctuations in mood, people understandably look to therapy to support them through this. Therapy can help with so many things but it will not directly address a hormone imbalance. Indeed, the focus of this year’s World Menopause Day on 18 October by the International Menopause Society (IMS) is Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
Therapy can, however, form part of an overall holistic approach to navigating menopause as mental health is of course inextricably linked with physical health.
In the type of Integrative Psychotherapy I offer, the time and the place is fixed on a weekly basis (something referred to as ‘The Frame’) which can introduce a reliable structure into what can feel like an extremely internally chaotic time. Additionally, one of the great advantages of therapy is that it is completely appropriate to be focused on yourself within this therapeutic frame. Indeed, it can be better to process our deepest feelings and fears with a person such as a therapist who is outside of the immediate situation.
This can be especially helpful for people who are typically viewed as resilient, and resourceful - ‘a coper’. Outside of therapy, there is always the consideration of how our material might be responded to by family, friends or even colleagues. Sometimes people worry about their vulnerability being weaponised against them which sadly can happen in some contexts. Therapy is a precious hour to learn just to turn up and say whatever is on your mind without having to worry about the impact on the therapist. This can feel akin to a handrail during a time when it feels that everything else – body image, purpose, relationships - is changing.
Therapy can also help if you find it difficult to voice your concerns to a medical person or to see your needs as important enough to voice. Culturally what has been dismissed as ‘women’s issues’ needs to be talked about more and measures need to be taken to support anybody going through this. Having a therapist who can take you and your concerns seriously can be an extremely validating experience which can empower you to find the right medical support if needed. It can also help manage the uncertainty you may understandably feel around this time.
The most important point is that menopause is not something that you have to navigate on your own – therapy is a resource that can assist in this transition and beyond.
Lisa is a UKCP Humanistic and Integrative Psychotherapist-in-training practicing at the Salisbury Centre. For more information, please see Lisa Marie Therapy or her Instagram and Facebook
