Creating a happier relationship with our bodies

Alexandra Garland considers how changing our body image can have ripple effects throughout our lives

We all have a body — how do you feel about yours?

Maybe you love it? If so, great! No need to read on.

Maybe you hate it. Or perhaps there are parts you’re not so keen on and wish you could change. So many people, when they look in the mirror, focus on all the things they think are ‘wrong’ with their bodies — internally beating themselves up.

I used to be one of those people too: avoiding clothes shopping because trying on jeans felt like torture, jumping on every new crash diet, hiding under layers, constantly worrying if other people were judging my appearance. It was exhausting. And… completely pointless — because none of that made me happy.

Working on loving and accepting myself and my body, exactly as it was, made me so much happier.

• Imagine how freeing life could be if you felt confident in yourself and your body…
• Imagine not wasting time thinking about whether you look too fat or too skinny…
• Imagine simply enjoying the moment and having fun…

Ready to start shifting things?

Here are a few small steps you can take to begin improving your body image:

1. Notice and appreciate what your body does for you
Breathing. Walking. Dancing. Laughing. Crying. Digesting food. Hugging someone you love. Your body does so much every day to support you. Start paying attention to these things and if you can, perhaps offer your body some gratitude.

2. Cleanse your social media feed
Is your feed full of ‘inspirational bodies’ and perfectly edited celebrity photos? If someone’s pictures regularly make you feel bad about yourself or your body, it’s probably time to hit that unfollow button. Follow body-positive influencers instead — people who post real, unfiltered content. Perhaps try following a variety of body types, including those similar to yours. And always remember: social media is not reality.

3. Be kind to yourself in the mirror
What do you say to yourself when you see your reflection in the mirror? “I wish I had…” “I hate my…” Maybe you avoid the mirror altogether. Try to find one thing, however small, that you like, each time you look in the mirror.

4. Change your inner voice
If your self-talk is harsh, mean, or cruel, it’s time to change it. If you wouldn’t say it to a best friend, don’t say it to yourself. Practice speaking to yourself as if you’re speaking to someone you love.

These are some ways we can begin working with body image on a conscious level. Some of these may seem really challenging to begin with and that’s ok, with practice they get easier. If these seem too difficult, or don’t seem to be working for you, it might be that there are more subconscious influences at play.

That’s where therapy, especially hypnotherapy and psychotherapy, can be incredibly effective.

Sometimes, a throwaway comment from childhood can linger in the background of our minds for years. Through hypnotherapy, we can uncover these stuck beliefs and meet the parts of ourselves that are still holding on. I often work with clients to explore the inner critic, and what we usually find is that this voice, although harsh, is actually scared or hurt and trying to protect us. Once we understand that, we can help it soften and begin healing from the inside out.

If this sounds like something you’re ready to explore, I can help.

Alexandra Garland offers hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, reiki and crystal healing in our Brighton & Hove centres, alexandragarland.therapies@gmail.com / @alexandragarland.therapies/  https://www.alexandragarland.me/