Ten questions for January

The post-Christmas period can end up feeling like one long Monday morning…so take this time to reflect and realign, says Dr Charlotte Merriman

In the post-Christmas period, January can end up playing the role in the year that Monday does in the week; the time when we ‘get back to normal’ without the excitement or distractions of the busy holiday period. 

The proverbial post-holiday blues where we either experience a come down from the high, or collapse in exhaustion from the accelerated pace of family life and socialising. The liminal space between Christmas and New Year can be an uncomfortable place for some. Often having eaten and drunk too much, and spent too much, the advance of January is a time for ‘tightening the belt’ and getting back on top of things, with pressure to transform ‘bad habits’ and create a whole new version of ourselves. 

Conversely though, for many getting through Christmas can be a relief. Especially if it is a yearly reminder of our losses and our grief, or the disparity between the hand that life has dealt us and the life that societal messages suggest we should be inhabiting at Christmas. For some, therefore, this Monday morning feeling can be a comfort; an opportunity for a fresh and hopeful start, with renewed energy and focus. 

January falls in winter in the northern hemisphere, and here in the UK it can be a dark and cold time of the year, with days often passing like a half-opened eye. As the festive lights of Christmas which light up our communities like stars in the darkness blink out one by one as January progresses, we return to the darkness of winter. The quiet emptiness can provoke a melancholy and allow space for previously ignored thoughts and feelings to bubble up. It is perhaps not surprising therefore that January has become known as a common time to feel low in mood, so much so, that it even is home to what has become known as ‘Blue Monday’ - the informal name now commonly given to the third Monday in the month.

In interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) one of the central aims is creating a safe and supported space for processing the emotions which we might prefer to avoid; such as the emotions which may make their presence felt during the liminal space which follows Christmas. 

One way in which we can create a safe and supported space for ourselves, rather than creating a list of over ambitious new year’s resolutions, is to use this time to make a point of compassionately reviewing our journey through the last year. 

This involves reviewing the time that has past and reflecting on the highs, the gains, and the achievements, celebrating our successes and taking pride in our victories, as well as acknowledging the lows, the losses, and the disappointments. It involves being brave enough to look into the dark places and make generous space for all of our emotional visitors. It is only once we have done this that we will be ready to look towards the future of the year ahead, and consider the potential challenges that might lie before us and how our last chapter may have reshaped what is required of us. 

This level of reflection requires quietness and space. A bit like the pause in daily life that was created for many by the pandemic lockdowns caused many to reconsider their lifestyles and reflect on their values. 

In many ways this liminal winter space we are now in is the ideal time for such reflection. While on the surface the winter can seem like a time of desolation and stillness, if you look carefully you will see from the buds already waiting on branches, much work is going on beneath the surface which will allow new growth in the spring. Maybe now is the time for us to invest our energies quietly inward too, so that come the lighter days we will be stronger and more aware of how to blossom whole-heartedly and authentically.

Something that can be incredibly helpful in this process is completing a series of prompt questions. The idea is that you review the year just gone, and then look to new year ahead and reflect on what would help to make it your ‘Best Year Yet.’ 

Having done this now for a decade, and I can honestly say it has been transformative in terms of navigating my way towards living in line with my values, and accordance with what is meaningful for me. The questions were originally shared with me by an old friend, and I sadly have no knowledge of who the original author was so cannot credit them. 

However, I would like to thank them deeply for the changes they have allowed me to create in my life. I share them here in slightly amended form in the hope that they will go on to tough other people’s lives in the way they have touched mine.

1. What did I accomplish in 2024?

2. What were my biggest disappointments in 2024?

3. What did I learn in 2024?

4. How did I limit myself, and how can I stop?

5. What are the values that I would like to live by in the year ahead?

6. What are the roles that I play in my life?

7. Which role(s) would I like to make my main focus for the year ahead?

8. What are my goals for each of my roles?

9. What are my top ten goals for the year ahead?

10. How can I make sure I achieve these goals and who can help me?

Dr Charlotte Merriman is a clinical psychologist, coach and interpersonal therapist at our Sheffield Practice Rooms