Hormones, Life Stages, and Anxiety

Women’s health is deeply intertwined with hormones, life transitions, and the shifting roles we hold throughout our lives, says Sonya Black in this empathetic article…

While many of us are familiar with the physical changes that accompany puberty, pregnancy, matrescence (the process of becoming a mother), perimenopause, and menopause, the emotional and psychological impact often receives less attention.

As a therapist, I regularly meet women who come seeking support for anxiety, stress, and low mood, concerns that are sometimes linked to or heightened by the hormonal and life stage changes they’re navigating. Understanding these links can help with meeting needs, increase self-compassion, and open the door to more supportive and practical ways of moving forward to live the life you want.

Hormones and anxiety
Hormones such as oestrogen and progesterone play important roles not only in reproductive health but also in brain chemistry. They influence neurotransmitters like serotonin and GABA, which help regulate mood and anxiety.

When these hormone levels fluctuate, whether during the menstrual cycle, after childbirth, or during perimenopause, it can lead to increased emotional sensitivity, changes in sleep, and a heightened stress response. For some women, this can manifest as reactivity, anxiety, or a general sense of being on edge. This may only be for a few days or weeks each month.

Recognising this connection is empowering; it is not your fault. Anxiety in these contexts is often a physiological response to changes in the body. There are many ways that this can be managed and overcome.

Support for hormonal regulation can come in different forms. Lifestyle choices such as regular movement, nourishing food including carbohydrates, limiting alcohol, and good sleep routines can help the body manage fluctuations more smoothly. For some women, supplements or alternative approaches may also provide relief.

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) can be another option. While often associated with menopause, HRT can also support women experiencing conditions such as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), where hormonal changes have a significant impact on mood and anxiety. The NICE guidelines recommend considering HRT not just for the physical symptoms of menopause, but also where low mood or anxiety are linked to hormonal changes. This can be offered before antidepressants (SSRI’s) and medication for anxiety. Speaking with a healthcare professional can help in exploring whether HRT, alongside lifestyle changes and therapeutic support, can be a game-changer.

Matrescence: the birth of a mother
Becoming a mother is a profound transition, one that has been compared to adolescence in its intensity and scope. Matrescence describes the physical, emotional, and social changes women go through when they become mothers.

It is not a give birth and bounce back experience, but a process that continues to evolve throughout the life of your baby, child, or young person. With each new stage of your child’s development, mothers are invited into new roles, whether that’s navigating sleepless nights with an infant, juggling the practicalities of school life, or guiding teenagers as they explore their independence. Each of these shifts can bring fresh joys, but also fresh anxieties.

Matrescence can also bring changes in relationships. Friendships may alter as priorities shift, and life partnerships can come under new pressure as roles are renegotiated. Family dynamics often change too, with grandparents, siblings, or wider relatives adjusting to the new arrival. Work can be another source of identity tension, balancing professional aspirations with caregiving demands or navigating workplace cultures that don’t always acknowledge the ongoing complexity of motherhood.

These changes can understandably lead to anxiety, overwhelm, or a sense of being stretched in too many directions. Naming this process, understanding that matrescence is a recognised, gradual transition rather than something you ‘should already have figured out’, can help reduce feelings of isolation and self-criticism.

Seeking support, whether through therapy, peer groups, or simply appropriately sharing honestly with friends, can make this transition feel more manageable and affirming. You are not alone in this.

Menopause and mental health
Perimenopause and menopause are often spoken about in terms of hot flushes, sleep disruption, or brain fog, but the psychological and life-stage changes that accompany them can be just as significant. Declining oestrogen can affect mood regulation, sleep, and even memory, sometimes leading women to feel anxious, low, or as though they are ‘losing themselves.’

At the same time, midlife often brings a series of overlapping life challenges. Many women are parenting teenagers who are going through their own transitions, such as exams, identity exploration, or moving towards independence. Supporting children through these turbulent years can be both rewarding and deeply stressful, particularly when paired with physical changes and fluctuating energy levels.

This period can also prompt a shift in identity. Roles that once defined us, such as being the centre of young children’s lives, may begin to change. Some women find themselves reflecting on ageing, purpose, or career direction. For others, caring for ageing parents or navigating changes in relationships adds further pressure. It’s no wonder that anxiety, self-doubt, or a sense of being stretched too thin can surface during this time.

Acknowledging this wider picture is vital: menopause is not simply a hormonal journey, but a life stage that intersects with family dynamics, career shifts, and personal identity.

Finding ways forward
Support is available, and talking therapies can offer a safe space to process these overlapping challenges. Exploring how you’re feeling, understanding your changing sense of self, and having time to reflect without judgement can help build resilience and self-compassion.

Alongside therapy, many women find it helpful to gently reconnect with themselves outside of the roles they play for others. This might mean revisiting old hobbies and passions or giving themselves permission to try new activities that spark curiosity or joy. Creativity, learning or simply having fun can be powerful ways to reclaim energy and identity.

Playfulness is particularly important. In a stage of life often weighed down by responsibility, making space for laughter, lightness, and connection can be a reminder that joy is not just for the children. Whether through friendships, movement, travel, or creative expression, cultivating play can help restore balance and remind us of who we are beyond caregiving and routines.

Meeting anxiety with compassion
Whatever life stage you’re in, if anxiety is present, know that there is support available. Approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT) can be particularly helpful in:

• Understanding the links between thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations.
• Developing tools to calm the nervous system.
• Challenging unhelpful thought patterns that may worsen anxiety.

Equally important is self-compassion, recognising that your body and mind are responding to powerful internal changes and that you deserve care and support.

Finding support
Therapy can help you better understand the impact of hormones on mental health and empower you with strategies to manage anxiety, stress, and emotional wellbeing.

If you are curious about how therapy might support you at this stage in life, you can learn more about my approach at www.sonyacbt.com

Together, we can explore ways of meeting anxiety with understanding, resilience, and self-kindness.

Sonya Black is a CBT Psychotherapist practising from our rooms in Tunbridge Wells.